How to write a sale email that actually sells

Why do sale emails matter if your content is good?

Because content alone doesn't pay the bills. A sleep wellness brand spent a month sending only educational emails, no offer. Campaign revenue went from $3,146 to $110, down 96.5%. A sports training tech brand sent 12 educational campaigns in one month, some with 6 to 10% click rates, and they made $547 total.

Engagement looked great. Revenue didn't show up. Content warms people up, but somebody has to ask for the sale. Pair every content send with a reason to buy, and make your sale emails unmistakably about the sale. If you're working out the balance, I cover it in content emails vs promotional emails.

How do you write a promotional email subject line?

Write it like news. Say what they get and where.

The most common mistake I see in Black Friday subject lines is being too crafty, and it applies to every sale. People who buy from your emails want to know what they'll get. Across 2,821 campaigns from 7 brands, news beat brand voice, and vague questions were the worst-performing pattern.

Shorter often helps too. For one sports tech brand, subject lines of 20 characters or fewer got more than 2x the clicks of lines between 41 and 60 characters. That's one brand, so test it on your own list.

Compare:

• "Something special is waiting..." (vague)
• "Ready to treat yourself?" (vague question)
• "25% off everything through Sunday" (news)
• "The new scent is here" (news)

Use the preview text to add the second most important detail: the end date, the free shipping threshold, or the product. More on writing them in email subject line best practices.

What goes in the first lines of a sale email?

The offer. Nielsen Norman Group's eyetracking research found that people often scan in an F-shaped pattern, and that the first lines of text on a page get more attention than the lines after them. Their advice to writers is to put the most important points in the first two paragraphs, use headings and bullets, and start headings with the words that carry the most information.

In a sale email, that means:

• Headline: the offer in plain words. "25% off everything."
• First line: what's included and when it ends. "Every bundle and single, through Sunday at midnight."
• Button: right under it. Don't make people scroll to find out how to buy.

Everything after that is supporting material for the people who want more before they click.

How do you give a reason for the sale?

Give context, but don't let the customer in on the business. "We have extra inventory" or "we need to hit our numbers" makes the discount feel like your problem, not their reward.

Good reasons sound like:

• Time of year. "Our biggest sale of the year." "Stock up before the holidays."
• Timing for the brand. "Our 3rd birthday." "The new formula is here."
• Why the customer deserves it. "You've ordered twice, so this one's on us." "Subscribers shop first."

A reason makes the discount feel earned, and it gives you a story you can tell again next year. For when and how deep to discount, see email discount strategy.

How many calls to action should a promotional email have?

One destination. You can show the button more than once, but every button should go to the same place.

The best example I have is a launch, not a discount. A haircare brand sent a new product launch email that made $31,059 from 395 orders. Email went from 23% of the brand's total revenue to 47% that month. Why it worked: a new product people cared about and one clear CTA. Save your launches for email first.

When a sale email offers ten things, people browse. When it offers one, they decide.

What does a promotional email look like? A simple structure

Here's the structure I'd start from for a Shopify sale email:

1. Subject line: the offer, as news. Under about 40 characters if you can.
2. Preview text: the second detail (end date, threshold, product).
3. Headline: the offer again, bigger.
4. One line of context: why this sale, why now.
5. Button: to the one page that matters.
6. Proof (optional): a short review, a bestseller callout, or a "most popular" tag.
7. Details: what's included, what's excluded, when it ends.
8. Button again: same destination.

Short is fine. A sale email doesn't need to be clever, it needs to be clear. For the writing itself, voice, tone and how to sound like a person, see ecommerce email copywriting.

How do you know if your promotional email worked?

Judge it by clicks and revenue per recipient, not opens. Apple Mail Privacy Protection can record opens automatically, so an open doesn't always mean someone read your email.

To improve over time, test one thing at a time:

• Subject line test: judge on opens, as a rough signal.
• Content or CTA test: judge on clicks.
• Offer test: judge on revenue. Percent off vs dollars off, split 50/50 over a weekend, is a good first one.

Repeat a test across about five sends at your normal send size before you treat the result as a rule. One win can be luck.

FAQ

WRITTEN BY Jack White

Founder of Bardown Digital, a Chicago-based Klaviyo email and retention agency for Shopify brands. He's worked with brands doing $500K to $100M a year, with $100M+ in email-attributed revenue across them.

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